March 20, 2004 - 11:33 am
You talk like it's necessary. I talk when I care. Little changes here and there are not even enough to fabricate stories for. But all is well. Your outline is beautiful but I know you have thin hair and padding and they are all yours.
Holly said I had a good attibute of a teacher in taht I am interested in people. she knew me for 5 minutes and decided that. I don't know if I'm so much interested or more socially conditioned to come up with relevant questions to ask new faces.
You don't know how to act around me because you want to marry me in a serious way and I do not know how I feel about taht. You won't come across me very often. I am no norm. I have renewed my resolve to wait forever and ever than to resign myself to any form of settling.
I was half way through a beautiful mind when it quit on me- and now I'm left holding on to that sliver of hope that maybe the Russians are for real... but mostly it just made me miss school. papers and paperclips and it doesn't take me long to miss all the things I run from . I would have excelled as a homeschooler... but probably flunked out of the social aspect of life... I guess everything's a sacrifice in some way. I have lines and my skin is darker than it's ever been. I ran this morning and the heat was not so polite in reminding me that I am far from the endurance level I choose to see myself at.
Scratched on yesterday's paper is a list:
To Do:
-Learn to speak 2 more languages fluently
-Learn to ride a horse well
-Lean to plant a garden
-Get a college degree
-visit Europe for a length of time
-surf
-get published (?)
and I know for sure that I could never live in a permanent vacation world. There is too much living to do.
